Thoughts

1)      It’s only a thought. Recognize it is not the conditions or experiences in life that rob us of our peace, rather it is our thinking about the conditions or experiences. It is only a thought and a thought can be changed!

2)       Challenge the thoughts. Ask the following questions and give time to ponder deeply on each question before moving onto the next. Ask yourself.

a.       “Is that thought true?” If only one word in the thought is not 100% true, then the entire thought is 100% not true. So,  is it true? Keep the answer to either yes or no. 

b.      “Can I be absolutely certain that thought is true?” We may feel like we can be 100% certain, but if we stop and  investigate what other possibilities there might be that could be just as true, then we free ourselves from the  bondage of that thought.  Can you be absolutely certain that thought is true? Keep the answer to either yes or no. 

c.      “What happens when I believe that thought?”  Consider how do you react to that belief? How do you feel physically and emotionally after having done so, how do you treat the other parties involved? How do you treat yourself while this is happening? What happens?  And then what happens?  What happens after that? All this happens because you are believing a thought that is likely not completely true.  Can you think of one peaceful reason to keep that thought?  The key word here is peaceful. Of course you can think of reasons but can you think of one peaceful reason? 

d.     “Who would I be without thinking that thought?” "If I were not remotely capable of thinking that thought and the same thing happened, who would I be?" Take a closer look at whatever it is that you have been allowing to rob you of your peace. Just look at it without the ability to think that thought.  What do you see? Who would you be?

3)  Feel the Feels. Let yourself go ahead and feel the feels. Invite them to wash over you. Pay attention to what it feels like and where you are feeling it in your body. Recognize it's only a feeling and all feelings are our friend. They are either feelings that support us or they are feelings that teach us what we need to know. Either way they showed up to serve us for our highest good.  Sit in the feelings for a few minutes and recognize what that feels like, but don’t stay there for more than 30 minutes.  Once you have allowed them to be fully felt, thank them for showing up and remind them you can take care of this so its ok for them to let it go. Then send them on their way by focusing on what you are grateful for.

Staying in your own business:

4)      Stay in Your Lane. There are many journeys that lead to the same destination. Allowing another their own journey keeps us out of God's way in giving them what they need and/or in bringing them back home. Love them while they're going through it but not take on their experience and make it ours or insert ourselves into changing our chosen journey.

5)     Stop making it your business. Whenever you become aware of something and you start to think you need to say or do something about that, it may serve you well to ask,  “Whose business is this?  Is this my business, their business, or God’s business?” When we get involved in ways such as trying to fix it, make it not so, worry about it, carry the pain of it, or get extremely involved in changing it when it is does not belong in the "my business" category, a natural consequence follows of "my business" getting neglected because we moved over there into someone else's business and very soon our life becomes unmanageable.  It is incredibly difficult to feel at peace when our lives have become unmanageable. Another consequence is we create an obstacle or interference that does not allow the other person to manage their business and grow from it so their lives become more manageable over time. There is a big difference between showing up for someone when they are going through something difficult and our making it our business when in truth it is theirs.  

6)      Stay actively engaged in your own business. We all have our own stuff we really need to work through.  Although, some of us like to stay in denial about having our own stuff to work on.  It is up to each of us to clean up our own side of the street without concerning ourselves about what is happening on the other side of the street. It is our business to row our own boat.  We are the only one who can.  If we neglect doing so, our boat eventually goes over the falls. It is in our best interest to ask God to steer our boat and to do our part by actively doing the paddling.

7)      Let Go and Let God.  Allow others the space and responsibility to row their boat the way they deem is right for them. That really is the only way for them to learn, and it's the only way we can stay out of God’s way as he tries to steer their boat. Trust God. Trust him enough to be the one watching over their lives.

Leaning on God

8)     Focus on God.  Keep our focus on the goodness of God rather than on the fallen condition of this life experience. Peace has far more to do with what we focus on than it does with any and all circumstances. Focusing our mind on the Goodness of God helps us remember that there is nothing here that He cannot make right and whole.

9)      Repent! As we identify what patterns we run in our lives that contributes to our lack of peace. As we ask God for forgiveness. As we do what we can to truly reconcile with whoever or whatever was involved in our patterns. As we ask ourselves for and give ourselves forgiveness for our patterns. As we do these things, we will experience a much greater sense of inner peace then what will come with all the other tips combined.  We CANNOT fix it. God CAN fix it. Let’s get out of the way and LET God fix it. Just showing up and listening for God's instructions. Carrying out those instructions to the best of our ability and recognizing he will take care of the rest will bring us immense peace.

10)  His Word. Feast on the word of God daily. Not just the holy scriptures but more specifically the words in the scriptures that God the Father and/or His Son, Jesus Christ spoke. Doing this for only 5 minutes first thing in the morning will shift the lens through which we see and process life which will greatly add to our peace.

11) LOVE. Love is the best of all healers. If we ever feel a physical distress in our body we can choose to connect with the love in our heart and send that love like a beam of light to the part of our body that is hurting. Allowing ourself to feel that body part receiving the love. Thanking that body part for how well it serves us and how hard it's trying to work on our behalf.

If there is anyone who persecutes us, we will find power and healing as we humbly pray to God to help us see those people the same that He does and to send blessings and care to those who are or have persecuted us. Praying for them by name.  We can watch the change that comes over us in time and enjoy the peace it brings.

And finally, making it a habit of looking ourselves deeply in our own eyes in a mirror and telling that magnificent soul who is living within us, “I love you, I really, really love you.” Repeating these processes as needed until we actually feel great love will flood us with peace.

12) Surrender it to God. We have been given the opportunity and the right to call upon the Atonement of Jesus Christ to take the things that are too hard for us and make it right and whole. We can imagine ourselves setting whatever our burden is on the altar before Christ and asking Him to take care of it and heal it. Remain willing to check in with Christ every day to see what he would have us do today, but leave the responsibility to make it turn out ok in God’s hands.  Just showing up and doing whatever we are told by God’s gentle impressions. As we see ourselves getting up from kneeling at the alter and walking away from it while leaving the burden of it with Christ, we can know that whenever we are reminded of the burden, we can simply reaffirm that we have given that one to God and we trust him to take care of it. Like me, you may be pleased in how much lighter that makes the burden of whatever is happening in your life.

13) Obey God. Follow the instructions that God has given us around being able to have peace and joy while in this life experience. Those instructions are frequently referred to as Commandments. Yes, we have the agency given us to choose otherwise if we want, but doing so will absolutely rob us of our peace. Whereas following those instructions will ensure our experiencing more peace.

Staying in Truth

14) Write it down. Our minds can spin and ruminate. Writing down on paper helps us avoid doing so. Writing requires us to slow our thoughts down. It also gives us opportunity to read each sentence and question the validity of them one at a time. Journaling is extremely therapeutic for the body, mind, spirit, and soul.

15) Separate Facts from Story. Rarely do the actual facts rob us of our peace. It's usually the story we create in our mind about the motive, meaning, and past history regarding the facts that brings about our suffering. The story is not even real. It’s completely subjective. Thus, holding onto the story is simply a form of self-punishment. It doesn't accomplish anything other than adding to our suffering. Choosing to believe the story we’ve created in our mind greatly decreases our ability to feel at peace. Facts are objective, they are the information that is knowable by a third party who has never been exposed to our story. Facts are fixed and eternal.  Stories, on the other hand, are subjective, inconsistent, and changes over time.  Stories are emotional and are not based in factual data.  Our believing anything beyond the facts is basically our creating a nightmare in our minds that only we watch.

16)  State the Mantra. Whenever we start feeling bad about ourself, we can repeat the following mantra 10 times as rapidly as we can. If in a place where we can say it out loud it's even more effective, but if not, do it in the mind at the exact moment we become aware of feeling bad.  It only takes a moment and it will clear the mind so we are more effective in whatever we are doing.

The mantra is…“I love and approve of myself as I am.” By repeating it ten times one right after another and saying it as quickly as we can, we will likely find that by the end of the 10th repetition, we will experience a better acceptance of ourself such as, “Yeah, I do still love and approve of myself as I am. I am perfectly imperfect and that's fantastic because that's the way I'm supposed to be right now.”

17)  Gratitude. Find things to be grateful for about whatever it is that's robbing you of your peace. Consider it a treasure hunt. The truth is there is always something to be grateful for in every person, circumstance and thing. Even if it's only that it gives you the opportunity to practice looking for what you could be grateful for. Gratitude is the doorway through which we become available to peace.

18) Gratitude Walk.  A helpful practice is going for a walk and looking for the little things we normally take for granted and expressing gratitude for those little things. Its helpful to get ridiculous in the beginning. Some examples are: “I am grateful for the intentional cracks in the sidewalk so when there is damage it it only effects that one section and not the entire sidewalk." “I am grateful for the stop sign because it keeps me from getting run over by a car when I cross the street” “I am grateful for that dead grass because it makes me aware of how glorious green, thriving grass can look and feel.” “I am grateful for that bird for the role it plays in our ecosystem and for the sweet sound that it makes when it sings.” “I'm grateful the bird did not poop on my head when it flew over the top of me” “I am grateful that bird flies away so I don’t grow weary of the sound it repeatedly makes.” “I'm grateful for the breeze that keeps me cool and carries away my body odor” “I am grateful for that white ford truck parked in front of that person’s house because now that person can get themselves where they need to go and they won’t have to rely on me to get them there.”

Your gratitude will eventually move to a broader perspective such as “I am grateful for the beauties of this earth” “I am grateful for the many ways God’s hand is in the details of my life” “I am grateful to be alive to experience all things” “I am grateful for the miracle of the human body that it can take one step after another without much effort.” I am grateful for the powerful messenger my body is in letting me know when something needs my attention." "I am grateful for the gift of time to use as I determine.”  This broader perspective gratitude will likely fill your heart with joy and peace and acceptance. This is a great practice anytime you notice you are in a lousy mood and want to remedy that asap.

19) Mindfulness. One quick and reliable way to move ourselves back into peace is in bringing our attention to the present moment. Looking to our left and noticing what we see in that direction, then slowly turning our head to be facing whatever is right in front of us and noticing what we see there. Then, slowly turning our head to the right and noticing each thing that we see there right now. Not assigning any meaning or identifying another item for our to-do list. Just seeing what is right there. Feeling the ground beneath our feet or the seat beneath us. Feeling the slight pressure against our body. Listening to our heartbeat. It's ok if we don't hear it and it’s ok if we hear it loud and fast. We don't need to tell ourself anything about our heartbeat. We just listen for what is there right now. Listening to our breathing. Visualizing the flow of oxygen going into our lungs and carbon monoxide going out of our mouths over and over again.

20) Be 100% Present. Our power is always in the present moment. The only point where we have any real power is in the present moment.  What has happened in the past cannot be changed other than what meaning we give to it in our minds.  What happens in the future is something we cannot control or determine. It is only in the present moment that we have any power or any control and that is a beautiful thing.

21) Accepting our Vulnerability. Practice coming to terms with what you can control what you cannot. Embracing our vulnerability to not being able to control everyone or everything, goes a long way in our staying at peace.  It’s actually a great gift.  A lifting of a great weight.  In practicing complete acceptance of what we cannot control and recognizing we’re not even supposed to be able to control others or outcomes we are more readily able to let it go.  We become free to reroute our energy to that which is ours to control.

That which IS ours to control includes our own thoughts, words, and responses, our own beliefs, interpretations, and meanings given to things, our own feelings, emotions, and management thereof, our own choices, decisions, and intentions, our own habits, behaviors, and actions, our own beliefs, opinions, and ideals.

The which is NOT ours to control include but is not limited to other people's thoughts, intentions, interpretations, assigned meanings, motives, opinions, beliefs, feelings, emotions, decisions, choices, words, reactions, responses, ideals, values, priorities, words, behaviors, habits, and/or actions. We cannot control outcomes, results, consequences or effects, but we can control what efforts we will carry out to influence those things.

We cannot control the weather, but we can control how we dress to be out in the weather. We cannot control who wins the political race, but we can control our own research on the candidates and what they stand for, our exercising our right to vote, and our writing our congress, senators, and representatives expressing our preferences, needs and concerns.  People may lie to themselves that they can control these things if they manipulate, force, insist on, or coerce enough, but they discover that in the long run they were just as vulnerable as the rest of us to the things we really cannot control although we might choose to try.

Taking Good Care

22)      Organize life. Removing all that is not truly needful from our environment, our mind, our body burden, our activities, our commitments, our technology, our expenses, and communications will do a great deal to help us in our quest for peace.  It would be unwise for any of us to get lazy here and just cancel everything.  That will only create more stress in our lives and we will quickly regret doing so.  If you are one who is limited on time, then just do what you have time for.  Instead of decluttering a room, declutter a drawer.  Instead of removing all toxins from the body, choose to not put any toxins into the body even if it is just for today. Then do the same tomorrow.  Doing only one thing at a time with whatever you have to work with will allow you to go through each aspect of your life over time and remove that which you no longer need.

23)  Self-Care. Be faithful in self-care. Make getting adequate sleep, real nutrition in our food, a variety of physical activity, staying well hydrated, and giving ourself periods of complete relaxation a higher priority in our lives. Believe it or not those reasons and extenuating circumstances in life that lead us to believe this is not possible are really just another form of excuses? This is something to think about and get honest about. Eliminating all that is not needful from our life (#22 Tip) will help this tip seem more feasible.

24) Pause and Breathe. Anytime we recognize an absence of peace we can simply pause, take three long, slow, and deep diaphragmic breaths where our belly expands instead of our chest. One right after the other.  Simply inhale to the count of seven, hold the breath for the count of two, and slowly exhale to the count of seven making sure every last ounce of breath goes out.  Repeat this breath three times. Breathing this way is one of the few ways we can successfully make our body relax on command.  It resets the parasympathetic nervous system which in turn causes everything else in the body to relax.

25) Hydration and Movement. It always helps to simply drink a big glass of water and go for a long walk. During your walk focus on being fully in the present moment with noticing what you are seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and touching right now.

This report was compiled by Christi Lee, host of the “Loving Inner Peace” podcast. May it serve you well. Check out our podcast for more tools to experience inner peace.